I had never heard of kundalini and it was some months before I realised with irony that I had given away that which many strive to achieve or receive. Of course once that serpent of cosmic fire uncoils and awakens at the base of the spine, she is intent on her journey of ascent. As the fire rose repeatedly in my body, expanding me into a never-ending sea of love, I learnt how to build a relationship with it. Not now, I would say , when it began to rise as I bent to load the washing machine. And so it would pause, just there, until a suitable moment when we would travel together. With fire at the root and fire pouring out of my throat and mouth I began to feel like a dragon. In time, kundalini re-rooted itself in my throat chakra. That's when my voice broke out of my normal speaking register to occupy far-ranging and astonishing territory.

In reading around the subject, I became intrigued by stories of how risen kundalini (in Hindu terms, when the goddess Shakti rises to unite with the god Shiva above the crown chakra) gives the individual access to all knowledge, or cosmic consciousness. My experiences of expanding into infinity made sense of that, but how did it work? Do you 'return' from bliss consciousness with great tracts of knowledge?

Little by little, I learnt by experience. Free of desire or enquiry, I would become of a moment the 'consciousness' of another form of creation. I could 'feel' the enormous range of insects living in and on my boughs as an oak tree, the vibration of a human footstep above me, the earthworm, the conductivity of tiny particles of metal in my form as a rock. Once, I spent the best part of a day being able to 'see' the dance of particles in the air. At first, it looked random and chaotic and unbelievably busy. If I tried to look as an individual, intent on discovering a pattern, my 'eye' just disappeared into apparent chaotic busy-ness. If I allowed myself to become that movement, I could 'see' the pattern because I had become it. That taught me a lot. The knowingness came through complete surrender of the individual identity. It so happened that I was at that time reading a novice's guide to quantum physics. Because I could 'see' the movement, and therefore the relationship of particles to each other, I understood where each physicist, in the desire to complete an understanding , or tidy up the revelations or realisations, had made a distortion. I wanted to say, look it's like THIS, but I had no language for THIS, so I simply asked that the gift of realisation that was mine should reach the minds of those to whom it was meaningful or useful.

When you move in consciousness beyond the frail parameters of the individual self ( yes, I know you think they are strong, but that's only because you, the ego, fears disappearing, which of course you will) ownership is a joke. You can't possibly own a concept , an idea or a revelation, for it's always there, accessible to anyone whose consciousness expands. It seems to me to be rather like having a reader's ticket to a cosmic library. When you turn up, the librarian hands you the volume you request or unwittingly require or one that would so much like to be 'read' on the earthly dimension.

Out there in the collective, or universal consciousness, there is no sense of time nor space. Both of these require a starting point, the perceiving "I", so that when I am relaying information from there to here I have absolutely no sense of being in the past, present or future.

Is there such a thing as 'there' and 'here'? Are you and I separate? Is there a heaven separate from earth? Early on in my explorations, the experience of bliss consciousness came through 'there'. I found this delightful free state considerably more pleasant than 'here' and began to journey out more and more, my return to normal consciousness becoming increasingly partial. One early morning , spinning merrily through the universe, I was firmly booted back. Marrying heaven and earth was going to require a foot firmly planted in each camp.

I suggest that many of us have plenty of experience of bliss consciousness, alone on some hillside or secreted together behind some monastery wall. This was in separation from the push and pull of mundane life. If we are to heal our fragmented and pained state, as a species, then the serene joy of the innermost temple must flow out into the market place. Unfortunately, many of us were so shocked by the collective emotional state when we came into this life, we devised survival strategies that ironically now bind us to a state of separation at the very time when another aspect of ourselves is aching for unity.

The numbing of the physical senses, a shooting up and away from the traumatised physical body, holding deeply secret and separate the sense of the sacred within oneself, all these are ripe for change. Everyone makes these changes in their own way. If they lead to powerful and exquisite experiences, you may think that yours is THE way.

There are endless ways. Many of us value diversity in other earthly life forms but crave conformity in humans. Often our apparently hard-won sense of self is challenged by someone with a radically different approach. So there it is. We so much want to be valued as the individual and yet we want to belong. We join groups and become angry with ourselves when we appear to be 'selling out' to a collective or to the charismatic leader. We retreat into ourselves, getting a deeper sense of who and what we are and then don't know how to reconnect with others for fear of being overwhelmed.

So if you find yourself mapless at the centre of the labyrinth, let me throw you a line. You are the wise one and the wisdom is held in your body. Every cell of your body has intelligence. You have grown used to thinking as knowing, which means that the mind dominates like the chairman who never listens to other members of the board. Give the chairman a holiday, find somewhere that pleases you, expand your senses and allow yourself to receive. In my experience, the ability to receive wisdom or understanding is in direct proportion to the willingness to know nothing. In this way, the mind comes refreshingly empty to the experience.

This is not to diminish knowledge gained by experience or learning but to counter balance it. Most of us find it easier to use two legs rather than hopping along on one. The mind that is poised on a balanced foundation will be content to rest in the moment, seeking nothing. It is that mind state which is the seed bed for co-creation.

The more you allow yourself direct, personal, physical experiences, the greater your sense of self. Out of that comes an understanding of the uniquely individual way in which each person experiences the same event or moment in time/space. Confident of your uniqueness, you can celebrate diversity and avoid the old "I'm right, you're wrong" pitfall.

You could argue that all this is irrelevant if we exist in a state of conscious one-ness. I would suggest that some part of ourselves is always that. The rest is exploring relationship, our self in relation to that which is unique to another, be that star, crystal, horse or human. All the pain and sorrow that we would like to heal has grown out of relationship. There is, of course, a still point in all of this, and that is love. It is the essence of every moment, all that exists. We do not feel that love when we are taking a position. The most common cause of taking a position, a fixed view, a prejudicial thought, is a sustained sense of grievance. Give up feeling aggrieved (it's the old right/wrong syndrome) and you'll remove the self-made impediment to the natural flow back to that exquisite still-point.

Some people, in living that still-point, radiate love and grace. So they are good to be around, for they help to enliven that in you. Not as they are, but as you are. Some places on earth are equally radiant, whether through the energetic imprint of radiant humans or the powerful upwelling of the earth's vitality. Or maybe a combination of the two. Many are recognised sacred sites, some forgotten. Few of us have anything to give to these sites save love and praise. Most of us have heaps to receive. Use them, let them speak to you and enliven your senses and joy in being. In being receptive, you are open to relationship. In relating to you they may grant you sound, light, wind or thunder.

Just as there are power points on the earth , so are they in the human body. Keep the body moving and expanding and you maintain the energetic connections, the relationship between those different points. This not only makes you feel more alive, but maintains flow. So there are fewer lodging places for thoughts and feelings to fix the old aggrieved positions. In being more generous with yourself, you will find it easier to be generous with another. Eventually, you don't have to withdraw into a privately sacred space in order to live the still-point. When you return to taking a position, and there are storms in your mental and emotional bodies, just one conscious breath will return you to the still-point, the love and grace flowing out onto the relationship that caused the turbulence. The old reactivity softens. In having nothing to protect, you are open, and open to anything. Then everything that reaches you is touched by the love that you are. And it gentles. So the process of healing unfolds.